Friday, April 30, 2010

The third best day of my life

It was more than just a beautiful spring day at the end of April or the first week of my summer break. Two years ago today my Samuel came home from his mission. It's amazing how fast a mission goes by when you're not paying attention - and how eternally slow it goes when you are. It's weird to look back at those two years and to think there was a time when I couldn't remember what it was like to have him by my side or what his laugh sounded like, but during those two years I couldn't remember a time when I could.

No pictures were taken the day he actually came home - I will forever regret this - so some mission pictures will have to do. Our reunion was just inside Chile's where I was meeting his family for dinner (not exactly the movie moment I spent two years anticipating), but it's amazing how little I cared in that moment. It was like the last scene in August Rush. It exemplified the quote "life isn't about the number of breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away". I'm still that cheesy about it. It's been a great two years since.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Dear Everyone

Dear everyone who has not gotten fat (or fatter) since getting married, what are you doing right?? And don't tell me "running" because that can't be the only answer. For reals. Ok, new topic...

So the Doc had to disappoint me again on Monday by telling me all my bloodwork and the ultrasound came back normal, but that the kind of gallbladder disease that I likely have can only be diagnosed through exclusion (meaning they basically have to rule everything else out first before they can determine what's wrong with me.) I never thought there would come a time when I wanted something to be wrong with me. The good news is that he prescribed some medication which should cut down on my symptoms - I'm on day 2 and no change so far, but there's time - and if it doesn't then we'll have to take the Laproscopic Cholecystectomy route (surgery). Here's hoping for the pills!

As for my (now weekly) gratitude list:

1. I'm grateful that my job is super laid-back as is my boss who is totally understanding.
2. I'm grateful that I met Nie Nie at Albertsons a few weeks ago! Can't believe I didn't mention that until now. Well, I didn't "meet" her, it was more like jumping in on her Saturday-night shopping trip with her hubby and acting like some idiot fan and stammering out "HiIlikeyourblogkbye". Oh well. Nie, if you ever stoop down to read my much less interesting blog, you inspire me in so many ways.
3. I'm grateful to have an outlet for my creativity at last - Peach Pizzazz! And thank you Samuel for being my first follower! As for the rest of you, get on it! :)
3. I'm grateful for funny youtube videos. Just one example. Enjoy.


Thursday, April 22, 2010

Inconclusive

A bit late, but a quick summary of yesterday: the big ultrasound! Having never been pregnant it was a new experience. I swear, I was the only person under the age of 55 in that imaging center waiting room. Waited forever....no magazines....or even medical brochures.....just my anxiety.....and my hunger thanks to my required overnight fast. Finally, they called me back to start the ultrasound and pushed on me really hard. It was fairly uncomfortable, but then my tummy is always uncomfortable. It was cool, not necessarily exciting like looking at a cute baby in the making, but definitely interesting. The technician took lots of images of all my organs (can you say you've seen your liver? or your spleen?) and decided that my gallbladder looked clean. Good news. But it also means one more test that is inconclusive. Bad news.

The hardest part about it is that it robs me of hope for awhile. It leaves me wondering again what the heck could be wrong with me and subsequently spending too much time on webmd.com or mayoclinic.com researching and fearing the worst. Still sicky today after the fact and now in pain. As usual. It's weird, because there are times when I feel ok and I think, "well all the tests have come back normal, maybe I'm just imagining this..." which is funny, because then I feel sick or have pain and think "there's NO WAY this is in my head!"

What's not inconclusive is that there is an answer out there and I'm convinced we'll find it somehow. Not only that, but I know this is a learning experience for us and it has affirmed how God truly works through other people to bless His children through comfort, prayers, and at times through real assistance - you know who you are. Other things I am grateful for today:

1. I have a new job! After months of searching I was offered a position (which in itself was a blessing) with a dental marketing company in Orem. I'm so excited to have the chance to use my degree, so excited that they are starting me part-time to begin with which is something I can handle right now, and so excited that I feel I was led to it and that my previous work and internship experience are a perfect fit.
2. As far as the ultrasound technician can tell, the rest of my body looks healthy. Relief.
3. Spring! It was a seriously beautiful day yesterday. Green grass, blue skies, blossoming trees: awesome.
4. I have everything I need. I thought about it and realized how blessed I am just to have someplace to live, food to eat, family, freedom, faith, a car, a job, an education. A lot of people will never have all those things, let alone things they want (and I have a lot of those things too).

I will not have more news until Monday, but I promise to blog about happier things this weekend!

- Heather

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Gratitude

I'm back! Look at me blogging 2 days in a row! I wish I had more to report these days than how I feel day by day, but sadly it is an accurate reflection of my life. Woke up early this morning to terrible pain in my upper stomach all the way to my back and right shoulder.....gallbladder I'm sure. It's good news, because it's another piece to the puzzle and one more step close to diagnosis and ultimately to healing. I have not forgotten my commitment to my daily gratitude list, though, so here goes:

1. My Samuel - he not only supports me in all I do, he feeds my dreams and gives me wings to fly. Thanks for being the man I've always wanted.
2. Shout-out to my family who are basically my best friends. Thanks for being the kind of real friends that actually teach me to be better. Anyone else feel like the meaning of a real friend in this world has taken a really permissive, lax standpoint? Like a partner in crime rather than someone that inspires you? Eh, another discussion for another time....
3. Thomas Newman. Great music, man. I watched "Finding Nemo" today while down and out and I forgot how much I love that soundtrack. Brings me back to the days when I wanted to follow in his footsteps (insert "oh how naive and starry-eyed I was" chuckle here).
4. Homemade pizza. Ultimate Comfort Food.
5. Re-watching General Conference on the internet . Being able to have the voice of the Prophet broadcast in my home at any given time is amazing.

What are you grateful for?
- Heather

Life lately...

Ok, ok, so I'm a work in progress. I've been busy with so much these last few months I didn't even realize how much I've neglected my blog which I've only just started! So to update you since my last post: I worked as a Communications intern at the Springville Museum of Art last Summer through the Fall while finishing my last classes and FINALLY graduated from BYU in December! That was an unexpectedly anticlimactic experience as I walked in Commencement last April (only to start Spring classes the very next week), went to Convocation in August when I finished my last classes, then finally got my diploma in the mail at the end of the year when I completed my internship. I'm very relieved to have graduated, I just didn't expect it to be such a long process. :) Since the new year I've just been working full time and continuing the futile search for a "big girl" job that I'll have for at least a year since Sam has one year left at BYU. He took the MCAT today and felt really good about it - SO PROUD!
As excited as I am about all of these new changes -being a graduate, Sam and I will be married 2 years in August, Med School, starting my own party inspiration blog (more on that later), getting a new job, etc., my spirits have been dampened somewhat in the last few months as I have been strangely sick with something doctors have still been unable to diagnose. It all started at Christmastime when Sam and I traded colds from the last week of finals until about the end of January. It was weird, because you think that one is going to get sick, then the other one, then when you've both had it and healed it's gone. Not so for us. I still don't know if it was a different cold strain that we just kept giving each other every time - we like each other, ok? :) - but all I know is that one or both of us had a cold constantly for a month......it sucked. Talk about a great way to start the new year! Finally "Cold Tag" ended, Sam stayed better, but I continued to have episodes of extreme fatigue, lightheadedness, headaches, and lots of tummy problems - all often debilitating. After multiple trips to BYU's Health Center, a private doctor in Orem, and lots of tests they still don't know what's keeping me sick. The test have been good and bad since it feels good to now know about all the bad things that I don't have, but just makes it more difficult to figure out what I really do. I have pretty much been unable to work full-time since February (since I have good days and bad days) and I'm sure friends in our ward think we've fallen off the face of the planet, but it has certainly taught me a good dose of faith and an appreciation for health. I'm grateful, because I know things could be much worse, I've had amazing support from friends and family, and a daily knowledge that all things are in the Lord's hands. Up next is a test on my gallbladder, which may or may not reveal that it has to be surgically removed (not really a fan of that option), but I'm optimistic. Speaking of optimism, I kind of like the idea of a daily gratitude post. I'll have to really commit to that one. I really didn't intend to get so deep in this post as it's only my second one, but it does feel good to get it out there. For those just tuning in, welcome to my world! And keep checking back for a link to my party blog!
Loves,
Heather