Inception

Believe the hype. It was that good. Lest you get your hopes up TOO high for the experience, remember that it is NOT the start of the Apocalypse, it is still just a movie, (and not even the most highly acclaimed ever made for that matter), but in a world of cinematic finger paintings, it is a Monet or Van Gogh. I know I will be thinking about it for days.

I did something crazy

I bought a nursing cover. I kept hearing about this awesome sale here - (feel free to burst into laughter at the company name) - and how great they are even when not on sale, and how every new mom needs one, and I just broke down and got one. This one, actually. One less thing when the time comes, right? I've been meaning to start collecting things of this nature one at a time. Even before Sam and I were engaged I was planning little wedding details. Don't get excited, I have nothing to announce. It's just nice to feel prepared.

Good and bad

I'm-sure-I'll-eventually-be-grateful-for-but-at-the-moment-I'm-very-UNgrateful-for:

1. Medical debt. Love of money may be the root of all evil, but the need for it is what weighs most on my mind during the day and keeps me up at night.
2. Labcorp. It's the devil.
3. My gallbladder. After a few months of improvement and feeling really good, it's regressing again and no longer doing its job, it just makes me hurt - like the attack very early Sunday morning that woke me up in sobs and excruciating pain. Four attacks of biliary colic in one year is a very bad thing. Time for surgery to get me better once and for all.
4. Never having enough time to maintain my party blog. With my busy schedule, I sometimes feel the creativity slipping away from me.

But, I'm VERY grateful for:

1. Jean Brown Research. They paid us to take out my sweetie's wisdom teeth last weekend and took very good care of him in the process.
2. Samuel - for always reminding me that we'll be alright and that I have more strength than even I realize sometimes.
3. Visiting Teachers. I love sharing friendship and spiritual insight with other women in my same life situation - instant pick-me-up.
4. I debated as to which list this should go to, but Jennifer and Sterling are moving back to Atlanta! Yay for them getting to settle in Georgia! It's bittersweet, though, because we'll be all alone in Utah with all our family back east - possibly for 2 more years. Double sad.
5. In exactly 3 weeks I will be: on vacation, at the beach, with my family. I'm way excited. I can make it, I can make it!

Stress. Could this title GET less original?

You can pretty much get what I'm trying to express just by reading the title of this post, nevertheless, I'll provide you with more details. In case you didn't figure it out, I'm stressed. Earth-shattering, I know. I mean, who gets stressed anymore?! Psh. All joking aside, it's not life-shatteringly out of control or overwhelming stress, just enough to make me frustrated that I can never accomplish half of what's on my daily to-do list. Like many Americans, I get up, go to work for eight hours at a fairly stressful job, (and I actually work through lunch,) constantly pushing myself to be the best I can be because 1. I love it and I want to succeed and 2. I have to provide for my family, (yes, I'm currently the sugar mama), then come home mentally spent and too tired to want to do anything else all night. Sound familiar? Why do we work ourselves to death? To the point of not caring that our home is dirty, or not caring that we're too tired to work out, even though we've been sitting all day. In a perfect world, I would work part-time to stay productive and feel fulfilled, then come home to be active, spent time with my love, and do all my domestic things. Sounds good to me.

Sooooooo, this brings me to my diet update. To sum it up, it's slow coming, which isn't looking good for my 6-week goal. In 2 weeks I've lost maybe 2 lbs. I only guessing since I haven't actually stepped on a scale, but I do know that my clothes are starting to fit better. Despite what it sounds like, I have been trying. I've been working out more often, eating less, trying not to eat near bedtime, I'm avoiding practically all refined sugar (fruit, milk, and other natural sugar don't count), and occasionally even doing cardio when I'm very tired and dying to go to bed. I'm grateful to be seeing (well, mostly feeling) an improvement, and I know that in the long run, small changes and baby steps lead to longer results and more permanent change. It's just frustrating, because results are what keep you motivated to keep going. I doubt I'll be anything close to looking like Isla Fisher by the beach, but I can feel good knowing that I'm trying.

On a more positive note, I've heard this song on the radio a lot lately and I'm a little crazy about it. Maybe you are too?

My new goal

I'm about to get very honest here. Hold onto your hats. So I have almost exactly 6 weeks until my family's reunion beach trip, and although the shoreline of the entire Gulf Coast might look like a crime scene by then and much of our week-long vacation spent in our condo or at the nearby water park (I'm hoping for the best and planning for the worst), I WANT TO GET IN SHAPE! For a lot of women, getting married sort of automatically plants another dress size on you, especially if you have an excessively hungry husband. But I've put on a few more beyond that this year when I was sick, strangely and constantly hungry, and not doing much physically - boy will I be prepared when I get pregnant! So now I'm thicker than I've been my entire life and ready for the old me again. (On a side note, it's funny that I crave the "old" me like I have ever been truly skinny. I vividly remember high school and even college days when I felt out-of-shape and wishing I were just a little thinner. Why can't we ever just appreciate where we are??)

With this as my motivation, not to mention my still-lingering gallbladder disease which makes eating anything high fat cause me a LOT of pain and grief, I'm ready to get down to business. My plan? Clean foods. The Clean Diet to be exact. It's not a diet plan so much as a way of eating. It consists of eating foods only at the freshest, most natural and unprocessed way to get it. What I like about it is that I don't absolutely have to count calories or fat (but I do for my gallbladder), sugar, or anything. The idea is that if you're eating foods the way nature intended them, you're going to fill up (key term here) with only healthy food. It's just common sense.

I'm also going to start running again. I'll hate it for a week or two, but I'm gonna do it....and I'll learn to love it again. Running is like that. You have to earn your relationship with it.

Other than saying I'm sorry for how long this post has turned out, I need a favor from YOU! That's right, I need the 3 or 4 of you reading my blog to help keep me motivated. Any encouragement, support, or other comments other than "oh, you're beautiful the way you are" would be appreciated. Gracias. Oh, and one more thing. If you're on a diet, you should try this recipe that my mom invented. I'm just sayin'...

Banana Chocolate Shake:
1 cup frozen, peeled banana OR 1 fresh banana and 4-5 ice cubes
1 cup low fat milk
2 Tbsp cocoa
2 packets of Equal or other sweetener
1 tsp vanilla

Blend until smooth. Rich, satisfying, and oh so guilt-free.