I had the weirdest epiphany the other night. When our apartment gets really hot, I turn on our window A/C and stand directly in front of it to get all that cold air (I'm extra hot these days, you know), and it's so nice that I sometimes I forget that I'm standing in front of a crappy window appliance and not sailing on the ocean with the sea breeze in my face. I must have been extra tired and delirious the other night, because I pretty much forgot where I was and just thought about how nice it would be to take off on a boat and sail into the horizon to some other-worldly destination, leaving work, money, discomforts, and all my problems and worries behind forever - how nice it would be sometimes to just escape everything. Within a mili second after that thought, it came crashing down how I would also be leaving behind everything: my little apartment that has become my home, my husband (if I were escaping alone as in my fantasy), my family and friends, my co-workers and job, this town I've become accustomed to, the chance to do anything in my life ever again, everything. And then it occurred to me that you can't leave it all behind without actually leaving it all behind, that problems and trials and heartaches and pain are all inseparably connected to the joys and triumphs and experiences of life. You cannot have one without the other, and that's just how it's meant to be. And you know what? I like it.
I can't say I was in a bad place or anything when that thought came, it was just a thought, and probably an inspired one at that, just a little reminder from heaven to help me keep plugging along.
On that subject, I'm afraid baby girl's presence has started all the third-trimester sleeping woes early: leg cramps, backaches, and feeling uncomfortable all night long. But it's ok, I noticed her hiccups for the first time last night and just imagined how cute she'll be when we can actually see and hear them. :) Life is good.
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